FALLOUTS
This section covers some of the fallouts of living this lifestyle. What are the challenges that parents face, what are the challenges that children face and what are the struggles of people choosing to live this lie.
Even though most of these people would say that they stand for the same values as the majority of the community, there are still remaining inconsistencies even within the LGBT community. There is a struggle for LGBT rights today.
LGBT movements organized today are made up of a wide range of political activism and cultural activity, including lobbying, street marches, social groups, media, art, and research.
There is also conflict within and between LGBT movements, especially about strategies for change and debates over exactly who represents the constituency of these movements, and this also applies to changing education systems.
There is debate over what extent lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender people, intersex people, and others share common interests and a need to work together.
Leaders of the lesbian and gay movement of the 1970s, 80s and 90s often attempted to hide masculine lesbians, feminine gay men, transgender people, and bisexuals from the public eye, creating internal divisions within LGBT communities
LGBT people experience microaggressions, bullying and anti-social behaviors from other people within the LGBT community. This is due to misconceptions and conflicting views as to what entails "LGBT".
In the past 32 years lesbians, gays and bisexuals have grown in personal and political power, creating their own communities and finding acceptance in traditional ones as well.
Psychologists are seeing a whole host of other issues related to the creation of LGBT families, LGBT people in the workplace, generational differences and the reality of multiple-minority identities-issues that demand our best research and clinical skills.
HIV: Younger generations of LGBT people wrestle with problems such as a resurgence of HIV infection among gay male youth and changing identity issues. Some young gay men are presenting a serious challenge for practitioners. Researchers have reported a surge in the number of young gay men who practice unsafe sex, known these days as "barebacking," in part because they thought the drugs would protect them from HIV's worst effects.
Likewise, groups that have been more closeted, including transsexuals and transgendered people, are finding their voice and appearing more often in treatment to work on identity and relationship concerns.
The Body image problem: In addition to barebacking, there is also a body-image problem among young gay clients. Twenty years ago, your body image was about what you wore, how you wore your hair and so on. Now, it's about the transformation of the body itself. People want to reshape their bodies to make them look a certain way- muscled and perfectly toned. A lot of times that's achieved with chemicals, hormones and even surgery.
The looks challenge: Gay men in their 40s and 50s also bring a "looks" challenge into therapy. Middle-aged gay men face tremendous challenges because they grew up in such a youth-oriented gay culture. “Thirty-five is seen as old, and 50 is ancient! That's a blow to our narcissism. Not only are we not the pretty things when we walk into the bar, we're the age of the parents of the pretty things.”
The coming out issue: People still need help in coming out – when, how and to whom. LGBT clients especially the younger ones are still likely to face a host of post-coming-out problems since many who have come out to their parent face that their parents' acceptance is conditional.Parents tend to display a sort of limited tolerance for their 'queer' kids--what is called tolerance without equality.
LGBT Parents: LGBT clients are also dealing with the flip side of that equation: being parents themselves. Many lesbians and gay men are the first generation of homosexuals to have children who are becoming teens. Some have found that while as younger children they had no problem accepting their gay parents, as they move into adolescence, some teens start to feel embarrassed by their parents' homosexuality.
Another spin on the parenting issue is that today, gays and lesbians have children not only from dissolved heterosexual marriages, but from broken-up gay relationships as well. Conflicts involving children of same-sex unions present difficulties because the legal ground for same-sex couples and their child-custody rights is shifting all the time. When there are no clear guidelines, what often substitutes are conflicts within the couple. Relationship problems can really get played out in this arena.
Resource:
A new generation of issues for LGBT clients: https://www.apa.org/monitor/feb02/generation
What is a Christian supposed to do if his or her spouse reveals he or she is transgender? The answer is as difficult as the situation.
This can be a truly devastating situation for a spouse who married in good faith and never thought they would be facing such a circumstance. They may feel abandoned, betrayed and lied to. They may even feel that their own gender and sexuality are being attacked. This is an incredibly lonely and difficult time. One half of the couple is exulting in the freedom of “being who they are,” while the other feels as if their spouse has died and they’re not allowed to mourn. Instead, someone new has moved in, a near-stranger, wanting the same or similar relationship.
There are three basic responses the believing spouse of a transgender person must choose from: 1. Remain in the home and maintain the relationship, presenting as a married couple, with the intent to encourage the transgender spouse back to God and healing. 2. Separate, legally or informally. Contact can vary from retaining a close friendship with the hope of reconciliation to a complete break in communication. 3. File for divorce.
Godly wisdom in making the right choice is what the believing spouse must pray for.
Other suggestions:
If the transgender person restricts their expression of transgenderism to private situations at home, the believing spouse should consider staying and seek counselling
If the transgender spouse decides to dress and publicly present in a way counter to their biological gender, and the believing spouse decides to stay in hopes of encouraging their partner toward reconciliation, that is a valid choice. If the believing spouse does not have the emotional margin, the spiritual maturity, or the support system to stay, or if the partner refuses to repent and seek reconciliation with God, separation would be in order.
If the spouse has gender reassignment surgery, the believing spouse should separate
If the transgender person commits adultery or physically leaves the family, the situation falls under the adultery and abandonment clauses.
If the transgender person files for divorce, the believer is released from the marriage.